its been a long time since i wrote anything because my battery finally died. like an idiot i fell asleep and left my puter on. so youre thinking then how can you be writing now. well i managed to grow some veggies which i traded for some solar charger time. it turns out i am kind of good at growing things. you would not believe it seeing me digging in the dirt and planting seedlings. i sprout the seeds on damp sponges or in potting soil right and then…

okay, thats boring to everyone but me. but my carrots are growing really well and theyre very sweet. my tomatoes have bugs but i think i can get rid of them by…

ok thats boring too. only here in the fayz food is never totally boring. we still dont have enough but we arent starving anymore. albert has things organized and he says if i grow enough veggies he will sell them for me or trade them. which is good because i dont like to stand around at the market bargaining.

things are better since the big fight with this gayaphage i dont know if thats how you spell it. caine is gone back to coates. we have astrid and some other kids running things but really albert. the only weird thing is orsay who is one strange chick.

i wouldnt tell anyone this because its like creepy that i kind of snitched but i told sam about her. i felt very creepy doing it because its not like im someone who tells on people. but what she is doing is kind of scary because its like shes acting like this prophet or whatever. i dont trust her and i really dont trust that nerezza girl. everyone is like i dont even know that girl. so were all kind of figuring she came from coates. where else.

but mostly i have some baby carrots and i know thats like so stupid to be excited about and past sinder from before the fayz would be like seriously? carrots?

and i would say, yah, carrots.

84% power in the battery. but i need to write about this. lights still out. there was some kind of massive showdown between sam and caine and the monster. there are kids got killed. im not even shocked anymore almost.

the monster did something terrible to lana is what charlie told me. jezzie says she heard some kid say lana had joined up with the monster. the darkness thats what they call it but its all darkness now.

charlie said he would help me with my tooth. hes here now. roscoe could never do this i guess. im so mad at him for not being brave or strong and i know thats not good because its not his fault. but i need help and i need it right now because i cant take the pain anymore.

charlies here with two different pairs of pliers. i get sick just looking at them. im going to throw up on him if he does it. not that i have anything in my stomach.

im just stalling now. i have to do it. im going to do it now.

o god that was so bad. i cried the whole time and charlie started off like all just relax itll be okay but then he started and i lost it. i just started yelling like crazy. so he had to stop and he was like i cant do it if you dont let me and he was getting mad because hes as creeped out as i am by it.

so i said yes ill get a grip and i did. he tried the little pliers but they kept sliding off. i had to lie back on the bed and he kind of knelt down and he had to hold my forehead down with his knee and he used these massive pliers and he tried to work it back and forth to loosen it up and i said just pull it just pull it.

it was hard. he almost couldnt do it and i was sobbing and snot running down my lip and tears and hes pulling and pulling and then it starts to come out and then it slips so he starts again and the pain was so bad.

it came out finally. i think he got it all. he looked at it and said i think i got it all. i couldnt look.

i stuffed cotton balls into the hole which hurts but not as bad as it did when the tooth was still in there. my mouth was full of blood. but its been a couple of hours now and i think its bleeding less now.

im really grateful to charlie. but i dont think hes ever going to want to look at me again. he got out pretty quick after he was done.

now my battery is down to 72%. my stomach hurts from hunger. i havent eaten anything in like 24 hours. jezzie has a can of garbanzos though and says shell split it with me. but i cant eat with a big wad of bloody cotton in my mouth.

you want to know how much life sucks. im actually feeling better. thats how much life sucks. this is an improvement.

did i write about what happened to ez. these worms got him. and today we all had to go out and pick veggies like no big deal. craziness. i didnt get eaten by worms but we saw them and i wont be going back out there id rather just starve.

i have nothing to eat right now. everyone is like what are we supposed to do. whats going to happen. no one knows. charlie told us theres something going on at the power plant. like breeze and all the other muties are running around so everyone knows theres a fight of some kind.

roscoe is kind of working with albert now. i dont know what he does exactly but maybe it will give him some self respect again. i still really care for roscoe you know. i do. but you cant really love someone who hates himself.

i did not see charlie today. i thought he was going to come over but he didnt. probably because im in a really bad mood and putting off bad mood fumes or whatever lol. my tooth is killing me. i have to go see lana but shes not around and someone else said she took off left town.

that would be pretty bad because its killing me. even worse than hunger which is really bad. so what am i supposed to do. its not like we have a dentist. its a molar a big tooth. im actually thinking maybe i could use pliers or something and pull it out. which would be pretty bad. thats understatement by the way.

its so scary. i have too much imagination because im picturing all the details of blood and pain and what if the tooth breaks when i try to pull it out. this is so wrong. jezzie says howard could probably get me some major pain killers. which would help for a while but sooner or later right.

would i even have the nerve to do it. maybe i could get someone else to help me. the whole thing makes me want to just sit here and cry but it hurts so amazingly bad.

i have to find lana. shes the only one who can help me.

thats weird the lights just all went out. i looked out the window and no lights anywhere. i have to go see whats happening.

okay im back. the lights are definitely out. taylor was in the plaza talking to albert saying its the power plant. caine that rotten b—–. he has jack with him and they just turned off the power plant. i’m looking at the battery thing on my puter. 95%. thats good but what if theres no more power then what.

no way. sam will probably fix it. but now its pitch black plus im starving and my stomach is growling and my tooth. maybe well all just die and then i wont have to worry about it.

i am so sorry for every time i was ever mean to anyone back in the world. im so sorry for ever complaining. someone should have just slapped me and made me realize how messed up life could get.

i better turn this puter off. save the battery.

if i dont have at least this stupid diary to talk to what am i going to do.